I have been using Mixed Chicks deep conditioner ever since I began transitioning to natural hair in 2010 (and after my big chop, eek! I permed it back, aah). It has tons of slip and leaves my hair feeling drunk. I recently saw the brand in Target which brought joy to my eyes. Previously, I was buying it in NYC and schlepping it back in a checked bag. So glad for Target’s more diverse line of hair products.

I tried it on Miss C’s hair and it lathered quickly with clouds of suds. I like. I finger-tip-scrubbed her scalp and was very pleased with how moisturizing it felt. I will definitely wash, rinse and repeat with this one!

In 2010 I decided to transition into natural hair. I grew my hair out for almost a year, and then cut it all off. I tried various styles and embraced my natural hair for a good six weeks, and then I permed it. At first I felt guilty, but now, I’m glad that I went through that process. Today, I have chemically treated hair, but I treat it as though it’s still in the delicate state it was during the transition and even after the big chop. I believe the secret to keeping my hair healthy after having the Caterpillar was two-fold. The most important factor has been that I continue to treat my hair as though it is natural. The second factor is that I did not get an epidural with Miss C and I haven’t introduced formula yet. I honestly believe the combination of those two things contributes to shedding like you won’t believe.

Some key rules I’ve followed after the perm have been sticking to the curly girl method. I have avoided use of shampoos with sulfates and products with heavy silicones. First, I get Phytospecific perms every ten to twelve weeks. Stretching out perms makes the difference between four perms a year and nine. I go to the salon for a shampoo and blow dry between two and four times a month. When I don’t go to the salon, I shampoo with either DevaCurl No Poo or Oscar Blandi (which I love because it lathers on the first go) at home. I use whatever deep conditioner I have on hand. My absolute favorite is Mixed Chicks, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere in Texas. Sometimes I do a hot oil treatment with Proclaim Olive Hot Oil, but typically co-washing is enough to maintain moisture. After rinsing and combing with an extra-wide tooth comb, I mix Argan oil and shea butter (and sometimes pure vitamin E oil) into my scalp. I liberally apply DevaCurl Set it Free and then blow dry.

I trim my own hair once a quarter. Since I’m growing out the length, I don’t believe in getting trims every six weeks, as I did in the past when I was perming frequently. So far, these methods have allowed me to grow out my hair from the big chop. I hope this routine also prevents the excessive shedding I encountered after having the Lion, but we’ll see!

I was natural for about two odds months or so. I tried, I really tried! But this whole natural thing was just not for me. When I left work that fateful Friday and took the MetroNorth into Harlen, I called Hubby to tell him the next time he saw me my hair would be permed. He replied that he knew this day was coming the day I’d BC’d. LOL. You see, I tried all the styles: bantu knots, twist-outs, the plain and simple afro, the wash n go, coils, rollersets, you name it – they were all exhausting for me. The twist-outs were me and Hubby’s favorite. The problem was that it took me forty minutes to re-twist my head at night and another twenty minutes to un-twist in the morning. I am not cut out for high maintenance hair. The style lasted for a week, but it took me over two hours to wet twist it (after shampooing) and then another hour under the dryer. What working mom with two kids under five has the time for that every Sunday??

The huge positive I am taking away from this experience is all the healthy hair knowledge I’ve gained during the past year. I started by getting a perm that I believed would be less harsh than the perms I received in the past. The results were very straight hair. I immediately noticed more shedding than I’d had in a long time, but it’s decelerated and now is mostly gone. I intend to continue to treat my hair as though it’s in its natural state. By that I mean, I will continue to use sulfate-free shampoos and deep condition as much as possible. I will use products that are safer and get perms much less frequently than every six weeks.

Oddly enough, I feel like a traitor. Like I let you down. I hope I didn’t. Through this process I learned that I am comfortable in my own skin, but that I prefer to wear my hair straightened for the convenience factor. I have learned how to take care of my head and how to nurture it back to health. I hope that you are not disappointed that I permed it. It was my hair journey to take.

When did you BC? What was your initial reaction to your natural hair?
I BC’d on June 18, 2010. I went to Miss Jessie’s salon in Brooklyn because my husband wanted me to get a professional cut. Initially, I was very calm. I was glad to see the nasty permed ends on the floor, but I was also thinking ‘what have I just done?!’ There was no going back. After my hair was washed, I was super excited to see my entire head in it’s God-given state.

How did family and friends react to the new you? What was your response to them?
I was most concerned about my husband’s reaction. I would have BC’d sooner if I knew he would love a TWA. He was supportive when I told him I had decided to cut it, and he told me it was my decision to make and to not ask his opinion. He was most concerned with the health of my hair, so now that I am natural, I hope to receive compliments from him. It’s important to me that he still finds my hair attractive. Most of my friends were supportive. I think it helped the most that my mother recently cut her hair very short, so I was very motivated when she cut hers.

What was your transition routine (products included)?
At first when I started this journey, I knew nothing about my hair… about its porosity, its type, cones, sulfates, etc. But now, I am so much more informed. I have learned that I do not need extra protein, because my hair is very thick and protein just makes it straw-like. Sometimes, before I shampoo I use Burt’s Bee’s Pre-Poo Avocado Butter. My current product line-up includes DevaCurl No Poo or Oscar Blandi’s sulfate-free shampoo if I want lather. For Conditioner I’ve used ApHogee, Mixed Chicks, Jane Carter, Trader Joe’s Tea Tree and Herbal Essences Hello Hydration for a cheap fix that I can use a lot of. To style I’ve used EcoStyle Olive Oil and Carol’s Daughter Mimosa Hair Honey, Tui Hair Oil and Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme. I’ve also used Argan oil on my roots before blow drying. It’s funny, since I’ve started buying these products, my husband and sons have started using the sulfate free products as well.

What was your staple hair style during the transition?
Unfortunately, every two weeks I went to my Dominican salon and got a roller set and blow out. Every few months I would get a roller set and not blow it out as to leave it curly. I started bringing my products, so I could at least control one aspect, and I went to the same woman every time and she understood that I no longer wanted to perm my hair. She was very gentle, but she also knew how to get my roots very straight. I started answering this question by saying ‘unfortunately’ because this method of styling permanently straightened some patches in my hair. At the ten month mark, it became increasingly harder to keep my roots from poofing, and now that summer is approaching, I believe it would be very challenging and time consuming to maintain a straight, sleek look with hair that is naturally curly. I tried my first bantu knots, which looked okay for the first two days, but after that they looked crazy with my permed ends.

How did you moisturize your hair to prevent breakage at the new growth line?
I didn’t treat the new growth line any different from my entire head. If my hair needed some moisture in the middle of the week, I would distribute a dime size amount of Proclaim Natural 7 Olive Oil throughout. I would wrap my hair at night and wear it straight for two weeks. I also make sure to deep condition after every shampoo, and either sit under the dryer or steamer for at least 20-30 minutes.

Why did you choose to go natural?
Oh my! For so many reasons! My entire life I knew that one day I would eventually go natural. I love the idea of one day, wearing a wash n go. Can you imagine? I look forward to swimming and working out and being confident in my natural hair texture. I look forward to twist outs, and curly fros and twist n curls and whatever else I find that looks cute. Although, there are two real motivating factors explaining why I recently BC’d.

After the Lion was born, I quickly stopped exclusively breastfeeding. He was born in June, and after labor day I returned to my second and final year as a fulltime business school student. I was recruiting for a fulltime job as well, so I found myself carrying a pump to school everyday. As my milk production decreased, and I leaned more heavily on formula, I noticed the shedding begin. This did not occur with Gadget, I think because I breastfeed him for much longer. Well, the second time around, I was completely done breastfeeding at the seven month mark because we took a three week course in Australia, and I refused to pump during “my time” (I won’t make this mistake again, but today I can’t fully say that I regret that decision.) Well, the shedding accelerated. Soon, my long thick mane was sparse. There was nothing I could do to slow it down.

In May of 2009 I got a perm for graduation and then went the entire summer without a perm. When August approached and my work start date neared, I got anxious and permed the fourteen weeks of new growth I had nourished. I immediately regretted that decision. I was afraid of the tension between the two textures, and I hadn’t yet found my gentle stylist. After two or so months perm free the shedding finally slowed. I am not sure if my body took an extra long time to flush out the pregnancy hormones, or if it was an internal issue, but not getting any more perms has helped to completely stop the shedding.

The second major motivating factor is that I want our children to be proud of and confident in their natural hair. I hope to one day have a daughter, and would hate to have her one day ask me why I perm my hair and not hers. I would be sending this huge message that you only look presentable with chemical alterations, and I do not want to communicate that through my behavior. So far, the transition has not been that difficult physically, although it is an emotional journey. I think that women who BC sooner have matured emotionally and mentally and are more prepared to live a life with a different look – more prepared than I am. If you think about it, it’s drastically changing your appearance, like an amputation. Clearly, my view on it is still with apprehension since I just compared going natural to losing a limb, but I think the mental consequences are just as significant. I have lived all of my adult life with a perm, and to abandon what has become a social norm, especially with my 4Cish texture, has taken a huge leap.

When I walk by a mirror, I still say ‘what I have done?!’, but that answer is that I have grown a head full of healthy, unadulterated, beautiful hair.

Before and After

I went to NYC today (and took a photo with Nick Cannon, but it was for work so it wasn’t as exciting as it sounds). Anyway, once in New York, I headed straight to Ricky’s to get shampoo and conditioner. I have had a really hard time finding good products in the Stamford area, so it was top on my agenda. I headed there with some friends, and even saw Titi and Miko walking down Broadway in Soho.

I got a few products that several of the hair blogs say are great, so I’ll let you know how they work out after I use them!

When do you think you will BC?
Hopefully, I can make it to at least a year. It really depends on how long my hair is. If it grows leaps and bounds over the next few months, maybe I will BC sooner. Or maybe it will be at the two year mark. It really just depends on how comfortable I am with length, but so far I have noticed I have a ton of shrinkage.

How do family and friends react to the transitioning you? What was your response to them?
So far everyone has been super supportive. But I think that’s largely in part because there hasn’t been any real outward changes due to the hairstyles I’ve chosen so far. My husband hasn’t expressed a preference for natural or permed hair. He does, however love it clean, groomed and styled. I think he believes that in my mind natural = buckwheat afro. I think to some degree I do look forward to wearing my hear in a big unruly afro one day. But that doesn’t mean it has to be my staple style. There are so many different styles to try out. My friends have pretty much all told me to go for it, except for a few that are loyal to the creamy crack, and think that straight looks best on me.

What is your transition routine?
My transition routine has consisted of going to the Dominicans every one to two weeks for a shampoo, deep conditioner and style. Now, before you criticize me, which EVERYONE does, I have found one stylist that I go to every time and she is very gentle. I bring my own products, which include ApHogee shampoo and conditioner, Carol’s Daughter Tui Hair Oil and Argon Hair oil which is a Moroccan oil. I go there because of the skill set, flexibility and value. Since some months I go weekly, I can afford the $20-25 hairstyle at that frequency. The woman that does my hair gets is straight when I want it straight, and does not pressure me to perm it. I usually go on Sundays, which works perfectly for my working mother schedule. Sometimes, on Saturdays I will co-wash at home just to play with my hair and begin to get a sense for my natural texture.

What is your staple hair style during the transition?
My staple style has definitely been the a roller set and blow out because I have been too chicken to start experimenting. From August through November I was getting the same style as when I had a perm and wrapping it with a scarf at night. Then, out of guilt of constantly straightening my hair, I started getting tighter roller sets and not blowing it out. I looked crazy! I had a billion large curls on top of my head, and didn’t really know how to style it. I have been lurking on my favorite natural hair care site, CurlyNikki, and watching youtube videos of different natural styles and styling techniques for inspiration. This past week I wore a new style that garnered tons of positive feedback. It was a transitioner’s take of the curly fro. I got a tight roller (the smallest rollers, blue, orange and yellow), and then pushed it all the back on my head into a short of pony tail. It was super cute Monday through Wednesday, and Thursday it looked a mess, but I was still receiving compliments. I will try this style out again this week because it does not require direct heat and takes less time in the salon.

How do you moisturize your hair to prevent breakage?
I don’t do anything special. I make sure to sit under the steamer with my conditioner every week, though.

Why did you choose to go natural?
Oh my! For so many reasons! My entire life I knew that one day I would eventually go natural. I love the idea of one day, wearing a wash n go. Can you imagine? I look forward to swimming and working out and being confident in my natural hair texture. I look forward to twist outs, and curly fros and twist n curls and whatever else I find that looks cute. Although, there are two real motivating factors explaining why I am currently transitioning.

After the Lion was born, I quickly stopped exclusively breastfeeding. He was born in June, and after labor day I returned to my second and final year as a fulltime business school student at NYU Stern. I was recruiting for a fulltime position as a brand manager as well, so I found myself carrying a pump to school everyday. As my milk production decreased, and I leaned more heavily on formula, I noticed the shedding begin. This did not occur with Gadget, I think because I breastfeed him for much longer. Well, the second time around, I was completely done breastfeeding at the seven month mark because we took a three week course in Australia, and I refused to pump during “my time” (I won’t make this mistake again, but today I can’t fully say that I regret that decision.) Well, the shedding accelerated. Soon, my long thick mane was sparse. There was nothing I could do to slow it down.

In May of 2009 I got a perm for graduation and then went the entire summer without a perm. When August approached and my work start date neared, I got anxious and permed the fourteen weeks of new growth I had nourished. I immediately regretted that decision. I was afraid of the tension between the two textures, and I hadn’t yet found my gentle stylist. After two or so months perm free the shedding finally slowed. I am not sure if my body took an extra long time to flush out the pregnancy hormones, or if it was an internal issue, but not getting any more perms has helped.

The second major motivating factor is that I want our children to be proud of and confident in their natural hair. I hope to one day have a daughter, and would hate to have her one day ask me why I perm my hair and not hers. I would be sending this huge message that you only look presentable with chemical alterations, and I do not want to communicate that through my behavior. So far, the transition has not been that difficult physically, although it is an emotional journey. I think that women who BC sooner have matured emotionally and mentally and are more prepared to live a life with a different look – more prepared than I am. If you think about it, it’s drastically changing your appearance, like an amputation. Clearly, my view on it is still with apprehension since I just compared going natural to losing a limb, but I think the mental consquences are just as significant. I have lived all of my adult life with a perm, and to abandon what has become a social norm, especially with my 4Cish texture, will take a big leap. Physically – next week I’ll be in Trinidad and I have no idea what to do. I have never worn fake hair: weaves, wigs, extensions, so if I get braids it will just be my hair, but I wear braids in Trinidad EVERY time. If you have advice for transition styles that can take some splashes, please let me know!

Ever since the Lion turned about three months my hair has not been the same. It started shedding, and at first I thought it was breakage. I soon realized these hairs were coming out at the root. Well, I thought, this is clearly hormones having their way. It continued to accelerate for a two month period. I thought it was my punishment for introducing formula so early to the Lion. As I produced less and less milk, I saw bigger and bigger clumps of hair in my comb, and on my pillow and all over the bathroom floor. Hair shedding is scary, really scary for me. Around January it began to ease up, but it never really stopped.

I continued to perm my hair every 10 weeks. When the summer rolled around I went from early May until mid-August sans chemicals. I was working out and swimming and had no one to impress. When the summer ended and it was time for me to re-enter corporate America, I just did not feel like my hair looked professional, so I caved in and permed it. I regret this decision, because it was a new salon for me. I was looking for a place to get my hair done in Stamford, and I had a recommendation for this particular salon. The hairdresser ran the perm through my ends and left it on for waaayyyyyyy too long. Here’s where the story gets even dumber. I went back to the salon two weeks later, and when she realized the perm had not taken very well, she permed my ENTIRE head all over again. Now, you may be asking, why did I go back? Why did I allow this? etc, etc. I don’t know. I don’t know why I didn’t speak up. I think I was truly afraid of being left to deal with my hair myself, so I preferred to let someone else ruin it, as long as it looked decent at the time.

Oh the consequences of such naivety. August was the last time I got a perm, and Lord-willing my last perm ever. I am officially going natural. I am going to grow out my relaxer over the next year or so, and then do the big chop. I also plan to see an expert dermatologist about the shedding, but between the hormones and horrible haircare, I’m sure I already have the answer and cause for the extreme shedding. Two weeks ago I cut off several inches. I figured if I cut it twice a month it will help the transition. I am surrounding myself with supporters and have started reading curly blogs such as Curly Nikki. I also believe this a great decision because if we ever have girl I am not going to perm her hair, and I wanted to be able to lead by example.