Goal #97, check.

1. Divide & Conquer
Coming up with 100 goals can be overwhelming to think about. I found the best way to write them is to divide the goals into several categories, and to take your time writing them across three days.

2. Pace Yourself
Bucket your goals into the following 5 categories: Family & Friends, Travel, Physical, Experience and Influence. On day one focus on writing 35 family and friends goals. These should include any goals related to things you want to do for or with your family. Day two should consist of writing your 20 travel goals and 15 experience goals. It’s super easy to write a list of 20 places you want to go. I found it easier to look at a map to help jog your memory of your favorite places. In addition to the places you want to go, think about the specific things you want to do once you get there. Your 15 experience goals should include milestone-type events you simply do not want to pass up in your life. Day three is when you write your 15 physical goals and 15 influence goals. Your physical goals include actions that relate to your physical ability or your physical appearance. Your final 15 goals are your influence goals, and they include goals that affect others. The reach of these goals touches a greater audience than just you and your immediate family.

3. Cover All Ground
Think about yourself holistically and make sure to include any spiritual, financial, emotional, mental, career based, relationship related, educational or self-developmental, hobby and leisure goals that may have slipped through the cracks. The next step is to get started. Select a handful of goals that motivate you and that you want to focus on this year, and identify a baby step for the goal. A baby step is something you can knock out in the next twenty-four hours that brings you closer to the completion of your goal. Your baby step could be as simple as looking up the cost of plane tickets or googling how to ride a bike.

In order to add the 1987 picture of me in yesterday’s post, I asked my mom to send me the newspaper clippings from my childhood. She included a gold mine of pictures of family members whose births date back to the 1800′s. She sent wrinkled, sepia tone pictures of great-great relatives. There was a picture of my mom at her first job, and a picture of my dad in his military uniform. So many precious milestones, slowly fading on dated film. The images reminded of my life goal #5- to complete a family tree. But not just any family tree. I’d like to write a short story that tells story of my family in a book. Each page will be dedicated to each member of the family. The book will be relatable for my children. I want them to know that their Great Grandpa was a milkman, and for them to remember his story through words and images. I don’t want just dates and lines next to head shots.

Originally, I intended to use Good Stock for this project. I just love Good Stock’s custom heirloom books. Of course I don’t own one because the pricing starts at the cost of a nice used car. But, if you have a few spare thousand lying around, this seems like an excellent holiday gift. All you have to do is provide the images and a little reference, and Good Stock does the rest. They format an elegant book for you to cherish and pass on. These books are the inspiration for how my family tree will look when I finally get around to working on goal number five.

I call her birth, “the explosion,” because a few weeks ago Gadget asked me if she will just explode out of me one day. In reality, she came so fast, I would say his question was pretty accurate of her entrance. Her journey here started on the evening of Monday, September 26. I think she was trying to get into position, except she was still a little lop-sided and placing a ton of pressure on my hips and pelvic bone, so much so, it was excruciating to walk or sleep. I spent Monday night crying in the bathtub, praying for relief. My parents had already arrived, so Tuesday morning Hubby took the boys to school and then came back to get me to take me to a 9:45am impromptu doctor’s appointment. He had originally planned to go to work, so he was outfitted in his slacks, belt and button down shirt.

I told my mom I was going to the doctor to get something for the hip pain. My mom commented that they weren’t going to be able to give me anything at this stage in the game, but I left optimistically. By the time we reached the office, my Caterpillar must have shifted, because the pain was much more manageable. Dr. Jackson came in to examine me after 11. It was busy in the office that day, and I had nowhere else to be, so I didn’t mind the delay. The week before, at my weekly exam I was 3-4cm dilated, so it was no surprise when she told me I was a solid 5cm, stretchy to a 6.

“Great!,” I thought. That was progress. I was glad, but was really and truly exhausted from being pregnant. She then told me I was headed straight to labor and delivery. Whoa, wait a minute! Just like that? After weeks of hoping my water would break, or timing contractions at home, my Caterpillar’s birthstory was already beginning, and without my control? I asked if I could at least go home to get my hospital bag. For the past week I traveled everywhere with my bag, to the gas station just in case, to the grocery store, even to pick up Gadget from his after-school program two blocks away. But that morning I didn’t want to be too assuming, so I left it at home. Dr. Jackson said she could not send me anywhere other than the hospital with me being that far dilated. Normally, I would have been overjoyed, but I think reality had set in very quickly that labor and delivery were literally right around the corner. I did not have the adrenaline surge I envisioned. My heart did not palpitate, nor did my hands get sweaty. I had no anxiety, just a sobering feeling that I was in store for some intense pain since I planned not to have an epidural.

One of Dr. Jackson’s nurses wheeled me through the office building to the adjoining hospital, per Hubby’s request. I could walk just fine, as I did not have any contractions, but when it comes to my health, he doesn’t like to cut any corners. I went straight into a labor and delivery room, where the nurse and I discussed my labor expectations. Dr. Jackson wanted to start me on a slow drip pitocin (a drug used to induce labor by starting contractions), but I had other plans. I wanted to have as few interventions as possible. My desires were fueled by my horrible, long-lasting episiotomy recovery with the Lion. I was miserable during and after his birth, which consisted of an epidural, pitcoin, forceps, and an episiotomy that took over six months to heal. Gadget’s birth was much more uneventful and quick, which I attributed to the absence of the epidural. This go around, I wanted to have a natural birth, which to me just meant no epidural.

At the hospital, I asked if I could walk around for an hour to see if contractions would start and pick up on their own. The nurse asked if an IV was okay, and I consented for a few reasons. 1) If an emergency c-section was required, I wanted to doctors to have quick access to administer drugs. 2) I knew they gave pitocin after the birth to reduce the chances of hemorrhaging. 3) Sometimes they give liquids to help hydrate, but most importantly, 4) I wanted the option to have IV drugs. It took the nurses almost thirty minutes to get the IV started. I have one “supervein” (which I learned from my hip infection), and other than that my veins are small and weak. No one has ever been able to start an IV in my arm, but these nurses tried. The vein blew, and then they started listening to me. Eventually, they found a spot that would hold in my hand. Ughh. By 1pm, I only felt one or two contractions, but I at made it to 7cm. At 1:20pm, Dr. Jackson broke my water. (this is the TMI warning: do not continue to read if you have a weak stomach or don’t want to know me this intimately!) And boy, there was a lot in there! It slowly gushed out, and I knew there was no turning around. After almost an hour, my contractions still had not kicked in, so the nurse started me on the originally planned, slow-drip pitocin. She started the drip at 2:15pm, and by 3pm I was feeling the first few contractions. I think the drip was started at 2mL, and then turned up to a 4. Once my body kicked in, the nurse turned off the drip for the remainder of labor. With the first contraction, they were pretty painful and required me to focus on my breathing in order to get through them.

After about the third contraction, I asked for some medicine in my IV. She warned me that Nubain would make me drowsy, but would not take away the pain. I understood and agreed. I just needed something. She then added that if I was already 8cm, that it was too late because that would make the baby drowsy, too. I said, then check me now! She checked, I was still a 7, so I thought let’s bring on the drugs! Then she adds, I just need to check with Dr. Jackson. At this point, I lean over to Hubby and ask if the prior conversation determined that I could get drugs if I was less than an 8, and since 7 is less than 8, why aren’t there any drugs going into my IV? By then the nurse was back and with the consensus of the other nurses, (who said, if you’re going to give it to her, GIVE IT TO HER NOW!) finally administered the drug. At some point, I needed to go to the bathroom, but the contractions hurt too bad to get up, so a bedpan was used (I don’t remember the rationalization I used to justify it, but at the time it sounded marvelous. No need for more color commentary).

Immediately, I was high and drowsy and could relax in between the contractions. What helped me the most was the consistency in the room. A little earlier, a dear friend of ours had stopped by the house to bring my mom (and my bag) to the hospital so my mom could be there for Ms. C’s birth. My mom, Hubby and the nurse each had their section of the room, and it helped me to keep in control when they remained in their “zones.” At one point, Hubby was in the nurse’s zone and my mom was in Hubby’s zone, and it threw me. I asked them (not so nicely) to move! By 4pm I was 9cm, so the nurse asked me to try different positions to get her to descend. We tried laying on my left side, leaning over the back of the bed and squatting. Squatting REALLY made me want to push, so I just settled on leaning on my left side. Somewhere between 4:15-4:30 the contractions felt like I wanted to push uncontrollably, but I was 9.5cm and still had a little lip of cervix. The nurse told me not to push, because that could swell the cervix, which sometimes results in a c-section. Honestly, I was trying not to push, but at that point nature was totally in control.

One of the best things about this labor was that the nurse stayed in the room the entire time… until she went to the bathroom. She left, and didn’t tell me she was leaving. She was the strongest contributing factor to why I wasn’t already pushing. I didn’t want to “get in trouble.” As soon as she left and a contraction came, I couldn’t help it! I pushed, and I believe she crowned. I told Hubby to call the nurse. I was mid-contraction and couldn’t speak. He pressed the red button, and the nurses station asked how could they help me. I was hoping he would say “my wife needs some help in here!,” but instead, he calmly asked the nurses station to hold on, because I was having a contraction and couldn’t speak. By that point in time, another contraction hit and I was pushing again. From this point on I had my eyes closed. I don’t know why, because I really missed the details of what happened next, but within this push, Miss C’s head came out. I don’t know what made Hubby lift the sheet, but this is when he starts yelling, “The head is out! The head is out!” It felt like the world’s largest BM, and also gave me a ton of relief. At this point, I could hear several people buzzing around the room. Hubby says the nurse was back by then and had paged for the backup support. The scene must have looked kinda strange, because Hubby was in his work clothes holding my leg up, and Miss C was just one push away from being born. Nurses where everywhere from the sounds of it. One told me I had to push as hard as a I could to get her out. She had a concern and urgency in her voice, which lead me to believe she had no idea how easy that was going to be for me. She was so frantic, it felt like she had climbed on top of me to push on my uterus, but in reality, she was just leaning on my stomach to help push her out. I’m thinking to myself, where was all this help before?! So, I pushed a third time, still laying on my left side, and at 4:50pm, 2 hours and 35 minutes after pitocin was started, I welcomed my daughter into the world!

Dr. Jackson had arrived by this time after a sprint. She changed into her scrubs, broke down the table and put my legs in the stirrups. **A bit late, I’m thinking** But she did repair a small tear. Miss C didn’t cry right away, and because her birth happened so fast, the nurse cut the cord. This was the first time Hubby didn’t get to cut the cord. Once she was under the warming lights she started crying, and I guess there was a little piece of cord left that Hubby got to cut. I think the adrenaline was wearing off, so my pain level was really increasing. I was starting to lose it as Dr. Jackson was suturing me. I started crying and breathing hard, so she had them bring me my daughter. Holding her and seeing her for the first time calmed me down. I remember asking if she was okay, even after I heard her cry, and of course she is perfect.

So here are the goals I am going to focus on during 2011:


Goal #5. Publish a family tree that can be passed down. I found this site years ago and have been meaning to create a family story in a hardback book.

Goal #13. Finish decorating our home. We’ve completed the kitchen, the library, and the boys’ room.

Goal #14. Have a healthy daughter. We’ll find out in a few weeks!

Goal #22. Raise children excited about reading. The boys are doing Your Baby Can Read this year. We’re on disc 3.

Goal #23. Publish a family annual report (with balance sheets and all!). I meant to do this last year, ughh.

Goal #53. Compete on the Amazing Race with hubby. Now that we’re pregnant, probably ain’t gonna happen this year. We were gung-ho last year and went to two casting calls. One in Boston and one in Oklahoma. We are so serious.

Goal #25. Support the Dual-Degree Engineering Program with an annual Victor scholarship. Last year we donated $1000 and I look forward to doing so again this year.

Goal #29. Volunteer with my children annually. Haven’t figured out the best way to do this yet. Any tips?

Goal #35. Raise children who love Christ. I pray openly in front of the boys. Gotta walk the walk.

Goal #48. Attend a marriage retreat in Colorado – well, really just have a couples Bible Study for now. We’ve been attending a bi-weekly marriage group at our church and it rocks!

Goal #49. Take family to MN state fair. Hmmm.. I should probably move this one to 2012. I think my belly will have entered the ‘no-fly-zone’ by the time the fair opens.

Goal #54. Take Pilates, jazz & African dance classes every year. Must find a spot in North Dallas.

Goal #55. Maintain a healthy BMI (18.5-24.9). I’ve started working out again and would like to keep a healthy weight this pregnancy.

Goal #66. Teach Gadget martial arts. He was taking Jui-Jitsu in Stamford, so we will find a way to make it a priority here as well.

Goal #69. Send in the last payment on my student loans. I’ve started sending in an extra $500 for principal on the loan with the higher interest rate.

Thank you for making this. I received this as a gift from one of my father’s students. She made it to say thank you for inspiring her. She read my 100 Life Goals and was so inspired, she felt compelled to personally create something for me to show her gratitude. How sweet is that?

You know the song, “we’re blessed in the city, we’re blessed in the fields, we’re blessed when we come and when we go-o…” yeah, that one. On New Year’s eve, hubby and I attended watch-night service and felt overwhelmingly blessed as we thought about 2010. The only thing I could do was say thank you. I have truly never felt this blessed before, and I now know what my resolution is for 2011. I resolve to be a blessing in my own backyard.

I am starting with donating my time, money and much needed supplies to the Frisco food pantry. Hubby and I are attending a volunteer orientation this week. I feel such a heavy burden right now. It’s so important for me to give back. And I’m not talking about hosting a gala for a sorority or some other socialite-type event. I’m talking about cooking and feeding, clothing and caring. I feel the seriousness of this, and want to be obedient and swift. In the past, I have written checks and felt that was enough. But this year, for me, that’s not enough, and just as He would have it, Hubby feels the same way. So we’re rolling up our sleeves in 2011 and being a blessing to others.

Here are a few stats about hunger in my city from http://ntfb.org:

Many of our North Texas neighbors were struggling even before the economy soured. Consider these facts:

* The number of people in poverty increased from 37.3 million in 2007 to 39.8 million in 2008.
* The poverty increased from 12.5% in 2007 to 13.2% in 2008.
* The poverty rate for children under 18 increased from 18% in 2007 to 19% in 2008.
* Almost 120,000 students in the Dallas Independent School District relied on the free or reduced-price lunch during the last academic year. That’s 77 percent of the district’s total enrollment.
* US Department of Agriculture researchers, using data from 2005-2007, found that almost 15 percent of Texas households experienced food insecurity during that time.
* The average annual income for a family that seeks help from a Texas Food Bank is just $9,000.

Pictured below is historic downtown Frisco across from the heritage museum.

When did you BC? What was your initial reaction to your natural hair?
I BC’d on June 18, 2010. I went to Miss Jessie’s salon in Brooklyn because my husband wanted me to get a professional cut. Initially, I was very calm. I was glad to see the nasty permed ends on the floor, but I was also thinking ‘what have I just done?!’ There was no going back. After my hair was washed, I was super excited to see my entire head in it’s God-given state.

How did family and friends react to the new you? What was your response to them?
I was most concerned about my husband’s reaction. I would have BC’d sooner if I knew he would love a TWA. He was supportive when I told him I had decided to cut it, and he told me it was my decision to make and to not ask his opinion. He was most concerned with the health of my hair, so now that I am natural, I hope to receive compliments from him. It’s important to me that he still finds my hair attractive. Most of my friends were supportive. I think it helped the most that my mother recently cut her hair very short, so I was very motivated when she cut hers.

What was your transition routine (products included)?
At first when I started this journey, I knew nothing about my hair… about its porosity, its type, cones, sulfates, etc. But now, I am so much more informed. I have learned that I do not need extra protein, because my hair is very thick and protein just makes it straw-like. Sometimes, before I shampoo I use Burt’s Bee’s Pre-Poo Avocado Butter. My current product line-up includes DevaCurl No Poo or Oscar Blandi’s sulfate-free shampoo if I want lather. For Conditioner I’ve used ApHogee, Mixed Chicks, Jane Carter, Trader Joe’s Tea Tree and Herbal Essences Hello Hydration for a cheap fix that I can use a lot of. To style I’ve used EcoStyle Olive Oil and Carol’s Daughter Mimosa Hair Honey, Tui Hair Oil and Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme. I’ve also used Argan oil on my roots before blow drying. It’s funny, since I’ve started buying these products, my husband and sons have started using the sulfate free products as well.

What was your staple hair style during the transition?
Unfortunately, every two weeks I went to my Dominican salon and got a roller set and blow out. Every few months I would get a roller set and not blow it out as to leave it curly. I started bringing my products, so I could at least control one aspect, and I went to the same woman every time and she understood that I no longer wanted to perm my hair. She was very gentle, but she also knew how to get my roots very straight. I started answering this question by saying ‘unfortunately’ because this method of styling permanently straightened some patches in my hair. At the ten month mark, it became increasingly harder to keep my roots from poofing, and now that summer is approaching, I believe it would be very challenging and time consuming to maintain a straight, sleek look with hair that is naturally curly. I tried my first bantu knots, which looked okay for the first two days, but after that they looked crazy with my permed ends.

How did you moisturize your hair to prevent breakage at the new growth line?
I didn’t treat the new growth line any different from my entire head. If my hair needed some moisture in the middle of the week, I would distribute a dime size amount of Proclaim Natural 7 Olive Oil throughout. I would wrap my hair at night and wear it straight for two weeks. I also make sure to deep condition after every shampoo, and either sit under the dryer or steamer for at least 20-30 minutes.

Why did you choose to go natural?
Oh my! For so many reasons! My entire life I knew that one day I would eventually go natural. I love the idea of one day, wearing a wash n go. Can you imagine? I look forward to swimming and working out and being confident in my natural hair texture. I look forward to twist outs, and curly fros and twist n curls and whatever else I find that looks cute. Although, there are two real motivating factors explaining why I recently BC’d.

After the Lion was born, I quickly stopped exclusively breastfeeding. He was born in June, and after labor day I returned to my second and final year as a fulltime business school student. I was recruiting for a fulltime job as well, so I found myself carrying a pump to school everyday. As my milk production decreased, and I leaned more heavily on formula, I noticed the shedding begin. This did not occur with Gadget, I think because I breastfeed him for much longer. Well, the second time around, I was completely done breastfeeding at the seven month mark because we took a three week course in Australia, and I refused to pump during “my time” (I won’t make this mistake again, but today I can’t fully say that I regret that decision.) Well, the shedding accelerated. Soon, my long thick mane was sparse. There was nothing I could do to slow it down.

In May of 2009 I got a perm for graduation and then went the entire summer without a perm. When August approached and my work start date neared, I got anxious and permed the fourteen weeks of new growth I had nourished. I immediately regretted that decision. I was afraid of the tension between the two textures, and I hadn’t yet found my gentle stylist. After two or so months perm free the shedding finally slowed. I am not sure if my body took an extra long time to flush out the pregnancy hormones, or if it was an internal issue, but not getting any more perms has helped to completely stop the shedding.

The second major motivating factor is that I want our children to be proud of and confident in their natural hair. I hope to one day have a daughter, and would hate to have her one day ask me why I perm my hair and not hers. I would be sending this huge message that you only look presentable with chemical alterations, and I do not want to communicate that through my behavior. So far, the transition has not been that difficult physically, although it is an emotional journey. I think that women who BC sooner have matured emotionally and mentally and are more prepared to live a life with a different look – more prepared than I am. If you think about it, it’s drastically changing your appearance, like an amputation. Clearly, my view on it is still with apprehension since I just compared going natural to losing a limb, but I think the mental consequences are just as significant. I have lived all of my adult life with a perm, and to abandon what has become a social norm, especially with my 4Cish texture, has taken a huge leap.

When I walk by a mirror, I still say ‘what I have done?!’, but that answer is that I have grown a head full of healthy, unadulterated, beautiful hair.

Before and After

1. Support breastfeeding by developing lactivism.com
2. Publish a family annual report (with balance sheets and all!)
3. Compete on the Amazing Race with hubby
4. Take Pilates, jazz & African dance classes every year
5. Maintain a healthy BMI (18.5-24.9)
6. Go natural (my hair, that is)
7. Support the Dual-Degree Engineering Program with an annual Victor scholarship
8. Reunite with estranged relatives
9. Attend a marriage retreat in Colorado – well, really just have a couples Bible Study for now
10. Design a Family Coat of Arms
11. Publish a family tree that can be passed down
12. Volunteer with my children annually
13. Take family to MN state fair

As an introduction to the dashboard, I thought I would explain how I completed the four goals, and where I am with the rest that are in progress.

Completed Goals:

Goal #52. Play the didgeridoo in Australia
In January, hubby and I took a three week course in Melbourne, Australia. I was able to pick up a miniature didgeridoo and pretend to play it, so I think this may be as close as I come to completing goal 52.

Goal #55. Maintain a healthy BMI (18.5-24.9)
My current BMI is 20.9.

Goal #82. Remain consumer-debt free
Hubby and I currently have no consumer debt (just student loans) and we’d like to keep it that way.

Goal #97. Market a $1B product
I am currently the brand manager of a trademark that grosses a lot of money!

My in-progress goals are as follows:

Goal #13. Decorate our home together
I have currently saved $2000.46 towards our next home down-payment.

Goal #23. Publish a family annual report (with balance sheets and all!)
I have written the outline for our first ever Victor annual report.

Goal #25. Support the Dual-Degree Engineering Program with an annual Victor scholarship
I set up a monthly draft to place a few dollars into an account for the DDEP. I should email someone in their office and let them know…

Goal #53. Compete on the amazing race with hubby
Show contestants are required to be United States citizens. Hubby has his citizenship interview next week! Although, I should add this is not the main reason he decided to have joint citizenship.

Goal #69. Send in the last payment on my student loans
Starting on November 16 my first payment is due for my MBA… Can’t wait until I send in the last payment.

Goal #70. Be disciplined to save $175K
I have saved $2000 towards this goal.

Goal #75. Learn Adobe flash
Purchased Adobe Design Premium CS4. Now I just need to find a class….

Goal #87. Support breastfeeding legislation by developing lactivism.com
I have purchased the domain name through sedo.com. I have also written the scope of work and found an interactive agency to implement it, just need the funds now (about $6000).

Goal #88. Write a business plan
I have performed my industry research and found a template I like.

Goal #99. Have monthly blog pageviews of +100K
I currently have about 2500 pageviews a month.