As I reflect upon 2009, it’s easier to use pictures, so here is 2009 in review…
MBA Recruiting
I don’t think I ever shared my full-time recruiting experience from last fall. I just came back from an MLT recruiting event, and I want to encourage all of you out there!! Rejection (or what feels like rejection) can be really tough to deal with, especially if you’ve had it pretty easy most of your life. For the most part, anything I applied to I received. Scholarships, jobs, school acceptances. I had never heard so many “No’s” in such a short time frame. I remember very clearly how I felt this time last year. I was a second year student in the MBA program at NYU Stern, and it was dry on campus. I did not receive a full-time offer during my summer internship for many reasons, and just about everybody who did, subsequently accepted. This made movement between companies almost impossible.
For an HR recruiter, perhaps the recruiting pool was so large and diverse they could select their dream candidate. Am I glad that for one company, I exceeded their requirements. But before I was extended and accepted that offer, many many interviews took place. The journey was loooooonng and emotional. I had a heads up that I was not going to receive my internship offer, actually. I received a call a few days before I heard the news from my boss. The campus recruiter reached out to me to ask me how my interview went (I will have to rewind and explain the circumstances under which I had an interview at the end of my internship. I started my internship in the 32nd week of pregnancy with Joshua, and he was born just shy of two weeks early, so because I’d left my biggest project dangling, I was scheduled to come back for a round of interviews at the end of the summer). I could tell by the direction and feel of the questions, she was probing, almost prying out a specific answer from me. She even had the gall to ask if I’d adequately slept the night before the interview. At this point I knew I’d bombed the interviews. After hanging up the phone, I shared the conversation with hubby and I came to the clear conclusion that I would not be receiving an offer.
I headed straight for the bathroom and took and long, hot shower and found myself sobbing because I had given that job 100%. I knew, without any doubt I had literally given it 100% and not even close to 99.999999%. There was not time at which I had faltered from my focus. I almost ran from meeting to meeting, and when I got back to my desk I responded to emails, ran to the bathroom, and then headed off to my next meeting. Everyday was like that. I didn’t pause for one single second. It was heartbreaking that I’d worked that hard and not seen any offer come through. It was hard for me, because I was so tired, and big and slow and I just wanted to be at home with my feet propped up on some sort of cushion. I wasn’t even that upset that I would not have the opportunity to work there, because I love my job right now, and I’m so glad that things worked out the way they did. I am 75% sure I would have accepted that offer if had existed. I know I would not have attended both diversity conferences (my current job resulted from a contact at the MLT alumni breakfast at NSHMBA) or recruited so intensely.
I was told that when the calibration meeting took place to determine who received offers, a few people really went to bat for me (thank you!), but in the end, if I had been extended an offer, I think my reputation would have been tainted by the fact that some managers needed to be convinced to bring me on board. My last Friday there, I was 3cm dilated and going from meeting to meeting and I would have stuck it out to very last second if I could have. I left my personal life at home, and never checked Facebook once at work. I was devoted, focused and determined, and that explains why I was so hurt. My best, my absolute very best was not enough.
When school started, I was concerned with how to handle inquiries about my internship. Classmates wanted to know who was working where, and I was embarrassed to share that I hadn’t closed the deal. Well, a nice size of us didn’t receive offers, and everyone was pretty sensitive about the topic so no one really pressed me for the details of my internship offer status and that was relieving. In fact, the maturity, concern and respect my Sternies showed was highly admirable. So many of us needed encouragement and support.
Full-time interviews started pretty soon. I made sure to attend both diversity conferences and followed up on leads coming out of both of them. I had interviews for marketing in just about every industry: CPG, finance, entertainment, technology, sports and even pharma. Pharma! What the hell was I thinking (the only industry I didn’t seriously pursue was luxury because I could not fake that funk for a million years). I could feel the pressure on my shoulders to get a job. Any job. I needed the confidence boost an offer gave. I wanted to know that somebody wanted to hire me. That somebody deemed me a strong enough candidate. To know that my name was at the top of a close list somewhere in the universe. To hear a “Yes!” you’re our top choice, instead of the taunting words, “The large number of inquiries we receive from highly qualified applicants has made our selection process a competitive one. Although your credentials are excellent, we regret that we are not able to proceed with your application for employment with [fill in the blank] at this time.”
Not making it to first rounds, and definitely not making it to second rounds is like getting dumped. Two companies were gracious enough to provide me feedback, which I found very helpful. Make sure to take advantage if the opportunity arises. I’d heard the gamut from some companies. As a classmate put it, companies were now handing out “runner-up” crowns. We were told things like, you are a really strong second candidate. We can only extend one offer, so our top choice has ten days to decide, and if they say no, it’s yours! I also heard, “if you don’t have anything by March, give us a call.” About five minutes before a second round interview, I was told “we don’t want to waste your time, and we don’t have an positions available right now, so may we reschedule for sometime in the spring, but only if you still need a job then.” Ughhhh, the craziness.
As the recruiting season began to come to a close and I still did not have an offer, I could feel fret trying to bubble inside me. I did not have a backup plan, because it would have consisted of more options I was not excited or genuinely passionate about. I came to b-school to transition to CPG marketing, and I didn’t want to give up on that dream. As December began, and I still did not have an offer, I set my hopes on hearing back from my (now current employer) top choice. I had entered the HR contact’s name and number into my cell phone, so there would not be ANY confusion about whose number showed up on the screen whenever he called with status updates.
The day he called, Kim, Gabi, Kareen and I were just leaving a splurge lunch at Max Brenners. We were walking along Broadway and I saw his name flash on the screen. It’s Jeff!!! I skipped a few paces ahead of the girls to take the call. When I hung up I turned and screamed!!!!! And so did they, which totally scared the closest strangers on the sidewalk. We had a mini celebration in front of Tisch and that was the last day of my full-time recruiting experience.
Pumping Buddies
I was totally spoiled at NYU. There was this single sized, carpeted locker room on fourth floor with a window, a cushiony chair, a bench for my pump, an outlet, and it locked from the inside. It was available pretty much whenever I wanted, because no one else was exclusively breastfeeding an infant while in their second year of business school.
At noon I would head up to the locker room and text Evelyn. She was my pumping buddy. I think every woman should have a pumping buddy. We would tell each other we were headed to pump and send each other messages throughout the day. This was huge for me! At NYU, business school kept moving whether I was at events or not, and it was so easy to feel like I was being left behind. At noon corporate presentations were being held, CEO’s were speaking at Lunch n Learns, or my girlfriends were going to Chipotle for a chicken burrito: all things I was missing because I had to pump.
Well, with my pumping buddy I was not alone. I had someone who understood how labor intensive pumping is. How you have to clean and pack and prepare for each meal you save when you’re away from your baby. My pumping buddy understood what a sacrifice it took to pump daily, but we also understood the reward – that when we returned home, we had milk enough to snuggle with our boys and nourish them from our bodies. The coolest thing was that we were pumping at exactly the same time. I knew that right at that moment, some hundreds of miles away in Chicago, someone else was pumping and thinking of their babies just like me.
Some days I was excited to pump only because Evelyn sent me a text message that she was going to pump. Some days it was motivation, because I knew that she was pumping for two, and that if she, as a first time mom could do it, I could definitely do it. Some days she would text and I wouldn’t reply because I was going later. Some days I would text, and she had pumped before me. But most days, we were in sync, supporting each other. I honestly believe I would have given up months sooner without Evelyn. I don’t think she understood how instrumental she was during the first weeks of pumping. She had been doing it all summer for her premie boys, but in September 2008 when school started, it was the first time I used the pump since Amari was 9 months old. I had savored in the freedom of nursing Joshua wherever I went. Something I had not had the confidence to do with Amari.
Evelyn, thank you. I did it with you.
10 Year High School Reunion
I just want to start off by saying that this past week has been real hard. I went to DC for the MLT MBAP event hosted by Booz Allen Hamilton, and it was great. I met with several fellows that are currently in the process of applying to business school. A few fellows were married, and wanted to get the scoop on what it was like being pregnant in business school, and it was totally easy compared to this!
Well, I mean, not totally easy, but doable. In fact, a classmate of mine, Diana Gonzalez, has just launched a social networking platform for MBA mamas, Top MBA Mom, which makes me say ‘now, why didn’t I think of that?’ Technically, me and few other mamas who had babies in b-school thought it would be a great idea, but none of us actually followed through on the idea, so I’m really proud of Diana!
But really, working fulltime is like a marathon and a sprint all at the same time. In the mornings, I try to get ready before the boys interrupt me, and then the sprint begins. Getting them dressed and packing their bag with extra diapers, pullups, clean sheets and their lunch boxes all of sudden feels so overwhelming when I just want to get out of the door so I can beat the traffic. The marathon kicks in at daycare when I’m setting them up with breakfast, and filling out their daily sheets, and telling their teachers how the morning went so far. Sometimes, I change Joshy’s crib sheet, sometimes I don’t. Most days I do Amari’s hair before we leave the house and I try to make it a point to not have snotty nosed kids, but this morning it just was not happening. And oh what joy! I totally forgot today was picture day.
So, I’m saying all this to say, that’s why its been pretty quiet on the blog front. I’ve been thinking about all the things I wanted to write, but haven’t found the time or energy to sit down and finish a post. The past few weeks have been especially hectic because hubby has been putting in the last hours of studying for his series 7 exam which took place this morning.
Have I ever bragged about how smart that man is ? I mean, he is out of control intelligent. He actually learned in school, instead of memorizing just to pass a test. He cares about knowledge, and I believe, enjoys learning. Hubby not only passed, but he received the second highest score in his class. He was aiming for a 98, but a 90 will do just find thank you. I am so proud of you, babe.
Now, that the test is over things will be a little more sane. In fact, I can finally finish this post about my ten year high school reunion, which occurred a few weeks ago!
I went to Minnesota for my reunion (with the boys sans daddy – and I’ll have to blog about traveling solo later), but it was a great trip. I saw classmates from Breck School that I had not seen in literally ten years. I am what you call a ‘lifer.’ I attended Breck for fifteen years, from the time I was three, starting in preschool, all the way through my senior year in high school. I had my trepidations about seeing my classmates, but I was pleasantly surprised.
Molly M, Heather S, Liz T, Paris and Michael P — You made my reunion. I bonded with old classmates who are now moms, which was so weird! What was also weird was seeing a classmate who was a girl in high school, who is now a boy. Go figure! But really, sharing mommy experiences with people I’ve know since I was three was a whole new experience for me. Some people, I was really close with in high school I’ve really grown a part from now. For some people, our paths have totally separated, probably for the better. Some people were still doing school age things, like getting so drunk they could hardly talk. And that was weird, too, because here I am thinking, I’m 29 and mom to two human beings. You will not find me plastered at my high school reunion. But anyway, I really enjoyed you guys, and I can’t wait until the next one!
Support
My heart is all choked up with gratitude to Uncle A and Aunt Nicky. Last Saturday I attended an all day MLT event in the city, while hubby stayed home to study for his series 7. A dear friend of ours, who actually video taped our wedding, has parents that live in the city as well. I don’t remember the exact details of how they came over the first time, but ever since then, Uncle A and Aunt Nicky have been like great godparents, if such a term exists.
The first time we met them, they took to Amari and Joshua as if the boys were their own grandchildren. Since then, they have visited just to say hi and shared in the celebration for Joshua’s first birthday. Every six months they make sure the boys have Christmas gifts and birthday presents. In fact, Amari received two years of gifts from them before they ever met. Talk about some awesomely kind people.
I asked them to babysit the boys for us, and they gleefully accepted. Can you imagine how great it feels to have people who are caring and trustworthy offer to help you out? I mean, I really, really, REALLY need all the help kind saints can offer. I am no longer too proud to accept help and guidance. When I think of the word support, I envision this couple. Everybody, you need people like them in your life.
Uncle A is full of life and DJ’s HBX Radio Monday through Friday from 7-9PM. You should listen to him! You two, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are well appreciated.
