Our Quiver | spelhouseLove

I Permed It

I have been hiding from you. I didn’t want to write it publicly for everyone to read. I didn’t want to admit that in July I took the train to Turning Heads Salon in Harlem and had a very gay man apply a Phytospecific Type 2 perm in my head. And promptly.


I was natural for about two odds months or so. I tried, I really tried! But this whole natural thing was just not for me. When I left work that fateful Friday and took the MetroNorth into Harlen, I called Hubby to tell him the next time he saw me my hair would be permed. He replied that he knew this day was coming the day I’d BC’d. LOL. You see, I tried all the styles: bantu knots, twist-outs, the plain and simple afro, the wash n go, coils, rollersets, you name it – they were all exhausting for me. The twist-outs were me and Hubby’s favorite. The problem was that it took me forty minutes to re-twist my head at night and another twenty minutes to un-twist in the morning. I am not cut out for high maintenance hair. The style lasted for a week, but it took me over two hours to wet twist it (after shampooing) and then another hour under the dryer. What working mom with two kids under five has the time for that every Sunday??


The huge positive I am taking away from this experience is all the healthy hair knowledge I’ve gained during the past year. I started by getting a perm that I believed would be less harsh than the perms I received in the past. The results were very straight hair. I immediately noticed more shedding than I’d had in a long time, but it’s decelerated and now is mostly gone. I intend to continue to treat my hair as though it’s in its natural state. By that I mean, I will continue to use sulfate-free shampoos and deep condition as much as possible. I will use products that are safer and get perms much less frequently than every six weeks.


Oddly enough, I feel like a traitor. Like I let you down. I hope I didn’t. Through this process I learned that I am comfortable in my own skin, but that I prefer to wear my hair straightened for the convenience factor. I have learned how to take care of my head and how to nurture it back to health. I hope that you are not disappointed that I permed it. It was my hair journey to take.

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8 Responses to “I Permed It”

  1. Danni says:

    I got this update as i was sitting on the couch telling my husband how much I LOVE my curly afro but I will need to start doing something (anything) to my hair if intend to not get bored (i’ve only chopped 2 weeks ago). I just don’t have the time as a PhD student to do twists and knots every night. Most nights I pass out from exhaustion and awake to matted hair. I say all that to say DO NOT feel bad! It’s just hair. You tried something new and now you have gained a lot of new knowledge.

    Thanks for being honest b/c here in Philly were it seems like EVERYONE I meet is natural I was starting to believe no one else thought this was “hard work”.

  2. Mom Noir says:

    Awww don’t feel like a traitor. Everything isn’t for everybody and you gave it your best shot. That’s more than most do. I just started using Phyto products and while I am natural, I still wonder about their Phytospecific line. I love all of the products I have tried thus far so I hope you continue you with the brand if you are looking for a line that promotes hair healthy.

  3. CJones says:

    Don’t feel bad it really isn’t for everyone, I know I couldn’t do it. TOO MUCH WORK FOR ME! lol I was considering the Phytospecific perm, how did you like it? Hope you enjoy your “new” you :-)

  4. I really liked the perm. It seemed to straighten extremely well and there was no burning. I got the perm in July, and I’m going to go three months in between perms, so I’ll get another one in one month. After going almost one year without a perm, three months seems like nothing.

  5. Thanks for the support!

  6. It is SO hard! I think my hubby knew this from the get-go, and he knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to keep up the pace. I don’t regret it and I appreciate and respect women who can do it and keep it going.

  7. Sharonda S. says:

    Don’t feel bad at all! I went 2 years without a relaxer and it was the hardest thing (hair wise) that I have ever done. Just last month I got a perm because I no longer had the time nor energy to deal with my natural hair, but like you I gained a lot of great info. about hair care. So, again don’t feel bad or regret your decision, just look at it as a learning situation.

  8. busybodyk says:

    No hiding. I noticed in your picture at the orchard. lol

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