I had an awesome experience today. I realized that my marriage could grow so much more if I stepped aside. What I mean is, if I were less selfish and less prideful, imagine what would happen? I was so blessed and edified by the Black Rock Church. I found the church on the internet. My criteria was pretty simple. I used google maps to find churches in our city and then checked out their websites. Black Rock’s site was pretty comprehensive, so this morning I set out to visit them since hubby and the boys are gone.
I passed the place, because I was imagining a larger facility, based on the website. I soon realized they had a mega church location about half an hour away, but I was at basically the satellite location. The sanctuary was clean and modern. The praise team was already playing. The sounds consisted of a few guitars, drums and a keyboard. There was not the same flat notes and syncopation I’m used to in the Baptist church, but I kept my mind open. After the opening prayer everyone greeted each other. People walk around the church and shook my hand and introduced themselves. One of the things you can tell right away is how pretentious the members are, and this church extended their love immediately.
Before the sermon, the pastor asked the families who had attended the Saturday night marriage session to reflect their thoughts on it. I can honestly say that hubby and I are always game for marriage advice, but today I was especially prime for a word from God concerning the institution of marriage. I just saw Pelham 123, and Walter Garber (Denzel) is telling the subway hijacker, Ryder (John Travolta), that he accepted a bribe of $35,000 to help pay for his kids’ college tuition. Ryder asks how Garber’s wife responded, and Garber answers that she was angry but she eventually understood. Ryder says “that’s love,” and Garber, corrects him and says, “No, that’s marriage. That’s different.” It’s clear that Garber’s wife was serious when she said for better or for worse, because many people would have considered a felony grounds for divorce. There are sacrifices and compromises made and exchanged during marriage, and every once and while a revival is needed.
I am writing all of this because several of my friends are going through divorce right now, and it is by the grace of God our marriage has made it this far. I don’t know how to comfort them, other than to tell them I’m praying for them. Some circumstances have been more grim than others. One friend, her husband beat her and she and their one year old son kicked him out. Another, my best friend, asked her husband to move out after more than five years and twin boys. The lastest separation was a husband kicking his wife out, and she’s pregnant with his fourth child. Can you imagine what you would do? You eagerly plan for a union together, a life, ’til death do you part, and then find yourself homeless, or homeless and pregnant, or having a home and children and no father to interact with on a daily basis.
So today was prayer was that God would revive my heart. I asked him to forgive me for my sins, and to remove the spirits of selfishness and pride. I confessed that I love my husband. I am no longer waiting for God to change him. I truly believed that if hubby would just speak MY love language, phsyical touch and acts of service, that I would be on cloud nine 24/7. Even though hubby’s languages are quality time and physical touch as well, we speak two completely different dialects of the same language. I looove PDA, and hubby loves… well you know. Now, I am ready to change. The coolest part of the service was learning that there is a couples session every other Saturday, and that they are currently reading the Five Love Languages! I hope to return one day, as a family. I felt the word of God speak directly to me today, and I am not waiting. I immediately repented and changed course. For all of my married friends out there, today the word I heard was revive your heart, so revive it brother and sisters!