Comments on: Quiet on the Front http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/ 7 years, 3 kids, 1 ranch Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:26:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: spelhouseLove http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-364 spelhouseLove Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:49:07 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-364 Do a lot of your colleagues read your site? What do you want to write about that you don't want them to read? I can understand that feeling. There are several things I have been holding back until the time is right, though. Do a lot of your colleagues read your site? What do you want to write about that you don’t want them to read? I can understand that feeling. There are several things I have been holding back until the time is right, though.

]]> By: Danni http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-361 Danni Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:24:31 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-361 This is tricky for me, because I have recently taken down my blog and am not using my pseudoname for awhile until I can figure it all out. My concerns were more of the work variety, but I did worry that my in-laws would see me complain about their , uhm let's say eccentricity from time to time. I mean I love them, but I did relish returning to the States and my home after our visits. I think your blog is honest and especially relevant for someone like me who is trying to figure out how to start my family as we both complete our graduate degree. I think your kids would be proud of their Mommy's honesty. As for the parents, I think this may be the forum to be honest with them (even if limited). If those conversations can't happen face-to-face then maybe this could be the vehicle??? This is tricky for me, because I have recently taken down my blog and am not using my pseudoname for awhile until I can figure it all out. My concerns were more of the work variety, but I did worry that my in-laws would see me complain about their , uhm let’s say eccentricity from time to time. I mean I love them, but I did relish returning to the States and my home after our visits.

I think your blog is honest and especially relevant for someone like me who is trying to figure out how to start my family as we both complete our graduate degree. I think your kids would be proud of their Mommy’s honesty. As for the parents, I think this may be the forum to be honest with them (even if limited). If those conversations can’t happen face-to-face then maybe this could be the vehicle???

]]> By: Liz http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-357 Liz Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:18:57 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-357 Ok, also, sorry to SPAM up your comments here, but I had another thought: I think it will be great when your kids can read your blog. I think it is amazingly beneficial for children to have chance to get to know their parents outside the default "Mom" mode. I think it is so all consuming to go through the act of parenting day in/day out that one can forget to let their kids see who they are. One blogger I read wrote that she didn't want her kids to be surprised by the things her friends thought about her ... she wanted her kids to know about her sense of humor, her passion for bad TV, her desire for road trips. Anyway, after I got over the initial shock of my stepdaughter commenting on my blog, I got happy that she had another outlet from which to get to know me. I hope someday to have the same for her. Ok, also, sorry to SPAM up your comments here, but I had another thought:

I think it will be great when your kids can read your blog. I think it is amazingly beneficial for children to have chance to get to know their parents outside the default “Mom” mode. I think it is so all consuming to go through the act of parenting day in/day out that one can forget to let their kids see who they are. One blogger I read wrote that she didn’t want her kids to be surprised by the things her friends thought about her … she wanted her kids to know about her sense of humor, her passion for bad TV, her desire for road trips.

Anyway, after I got over the initial shock of my stepdaughter commenting on my blog, I got happy that she had another outlet from which to get to know me. I hope someday to have the same for her.

]]> By: Liz http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-356 Liz Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:06:16 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-356 Oh, lots to say about my relationship with my other in laws - which is what I consider my husband's ex wife and her husband. Truly, our lives are so intertwined (due to the joint raising of a child) that they are just as close as in laws! I will have to think of a way to blog-express it that shows the proper amount of respect, but also the proper amount of hilarity, because, I mean: come on. Oh, lots to say about my relationship with my other in laws – which is what I consider my husband’s ex wife and her husband. Truly, our lives are so intertwined (due to the joint raising of a child) that they are just as close as in laws! I will have to think of a way to blog-express it that shows the proper amount of respect, but also the proper amount of hilarity, because, I mean: come on.

]]> By: spelhouseLove http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-354 spelhouseLove Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:20:54 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-354 Thanks for the perspective. Of course I haven't even considered that: when my children can read my blog. hmmm, def understand the lack of teenager mommy blogs. I still would love to hear about that weekend with ex... Thanks for the perspective. Of course I haven’t even considered that: when my children can read my blog. hmmm, def understand the lack of teenager mommy blogs. I still would love to hear about that weekend with ex…

]]> By: Liz http://spelhouselove.com/2010/02/22/quiet-on-the-front/comment-page-1/#comment-352 Liz Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:12:22 +0000 http://spelhouselove.com/?p=2110#comment-352 Jolawn, someone asked once why there are no "mommybloggers" who have teenage children. This answer is obvious to me: because teenage children can read our blogs! I was blown away one day when my stepdaughter commented on one of my blog posts... my mind literally went "ABORT ABORT! REMOVE ALL REFERENCES OF HER DAD SAYING THE WORD 'BOOBS." It never occurred to me that she'd care enough to read my blog, but I know that she does, or she might, and I think it would be unfair for her to see herself- at least, herself in a light that I think is unflattering - in print as fodder for my readers. (All five of them.) It's a very hard line to walk. On the one hand, I think the best bloggers - or the ones I enjoy, anyway - are the ones who are honest in their writing, which often involves sharing that which can be hard to share. But on the other ... there are boundaries, and there is respect for things that others would prefer to remain private. Once you have written it, and it has been read, you can't really take it back. But also: it is your blog, to do with as you please. If you feel that what you are writing is fair - both to yourself and the subjects, then...it's fair. I think the line is somewhere between what it would cost you to hit "publish," and what you would gain through the process of sharing your thoughts, and inviting communion into what you're going through. It's hard though. I understand where you are. There is lots I'd love to share, (um, I just spent the weekend on my husband's ex-wife's couch. If there isn't a blog post there then I just simply do not know what the internet is for) but I don't know how to do justice to the need to process and the need to be respectful. UGH! Jolawn,
someone asked once why there are no “mommybloggers” who have teenage children. This answer is obvious to me: because teenage children can read our blogs! I was blown away one day when my stepdaughter commented on one of my blog posts… my mind literally went “ABORT ABORT! REMOVE ALL REFERENCES OF HER DAD SAYING THE WORD ‘BOOBS.” It never occurred to me that she’d care enough to read my blog, but I know that she does, or she might, and I think it would be unfair for her to see herself- at least, herself in a light that I think is unflattering – in print as fodder for my readers. (All five of them.)

It’s a very hard line to walk. On the one hand, I think the best bloggers – or the ones I enjoy, anyway – are the ones who are honest in their writing, which often involves sharing that which can be hard to share. But on the other … there are boundaries, and there is respect for things that others would prefer to remain private. Once you have written it, and it has been read, you can’t really take it back.

But also: it is your blog, to do with as you please. If you feel that what you are writing is fair – both to yourself and the subjects, then…it’s fair. I think the line is somewhere between what it would cost you to hit “publish,” and what you would gain through the process of sharing your thoughts, and inviting communion into what you’re going through.

It’s hard though. I understand where you are. There is lots I’d love to share, (um, I just spent the weekend on my husband’s ex-wife’s couch. If there isn’t a blog post there then I just simply do not know what the internet is for) but I don’t know how to do justice to the need to process and the need to be respectful. UGH!

]]>