First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage | spelhouseLove

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

We had lunch today with one of hubby’s dearest friends, Alvin, and Alvin’s girlfriend. The couple has been dating for just over a year, and it reminded me of us back in the day. Back in the day when we were swiftly heading down the endorphin waxed slope that ended in marriage. For us, we met in March of 2002, and in March of 2004 we were engaged, two years to the day that we met. Hubby had this requirement that we had to court for two cycles of all the seasons. He had this theory that people act differently throughout the seasons, let’s says for example, if you get depressed during the winter time, so he observed me throughout all these environments.

The goal of all of this is to make sure that your potential future spouse doesn’t become a vampire when you’re not looking, but just between June 10-15th. The thing is, no amount of time can predict exactly how your lifelong mate will act in different environments. Let’s take for example business school. I definitely thought I knew what was coming for our marriage when we entered NYU Stern’s fulltime MBA program. I naively concluded that it would be just like our undergraduate experience. We were both Electrical Engineering majors at Georgia Tech throughout our entire courtship, so I had this MBA thing in the bag.

Ha, ha, ha. Spending first semester pregnant and at home with a one-year old boy while my husband attending DAILY recruiting events that ended at 10PM at the earliest was not quite my idea of going to business school TOGETHER. Yes, we took classes in the same building, but we were rarely in each other’s classes. Yes, we tried to travel to and from school together, but that meant coordinating ALL of our extracurricular activities, and that wasn’t happening. All in all, it felt great to know that hubby was somewhere in Kaufman with me, but it was not like at Georgia Tech.

The result was a lot of unmet expectations. I say all of this in hopes that the next married couple who attends b-school at the same time will not fall into the pit of uncommunication (apparently that’s not a word). It is a deep, deep pit that is lined with resentment and bitterness if you remain trapped inside. I don’t think we fell really deep into this pit, but we were down deep enough that we, again, realized that business school, just like everything else was only possible with God, prayer, supplication and all the other things Jesus needed in the wilderness.

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Hi. I live in North Texas with God, my man, my boys, and a sweet baby girl.
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